Tuesday, April 19, 2005

CNB NewsBlurbs -- CNB (again) reads the news so you don't have to

  1. The Catholic Church (a.k.a. the church all other Christian churches left) has chosen its new Pope. In a move guaranteed to drive even more U.S. Catholics (a.k.a. "Is it Christmas or Easter yet?") away, the conclave of cardinals (a great band name if ever there was one) chose Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger of Germany, who will heretofore be known as Pope Benedict XVI. Some may recall that it was recently disclosed that Cardinal Ratzinger was a member of the Hitler Youth, but he is best known for being the unofficial "Dogma Watchdog," publishing several papers seeking to ensure the Catholic Church continued its firm positions on women's ordination (or lack thereof, to be more precise), homosexuality, and contraception. It is good that someone was chosen because cafeteria Catholics all over the U.S. were on pins and needles trying to find out whose edicts they would be ignoring next. This choice certainly appears to be one that will provide plenty of fodder.
  2. Rep. Henry Hyde (R-IL) announced that this will be his last term in the House. Hyde is best known for leading the charge for impeachment against Pres. Clinton in the late 1990s for his sexcapades with an intern (CNB is not absolving Clinton here, FYI), stating that "among the things we love are the rule of law." Those not irony-impaired found funny that Rep. Hyde described his own five-year-long affair, engaged in when he was well into his 40s, as a "youthful indiscretion." His most recent fame came last week, when he urged the Bush administration to direct more resources from the President's Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief to groups promoting abstinence and away from those promoting condom use as an HIV/AIDS prevention method. Quite possibly, he knew that Pope Benedict XVI was on his way and simply felt he could past the torch, (the kind they chased Frankenstein with).
  3. Speaking of the "rule of law," Rep. Tom DeLay (R-TX), a man who helped orchestrate the impeachment of Clinton based upon the rule of law, now wants "activist judges" out, even where, like in the Terri Schiavo case, they rely on the rule of law. Funny how political opportunism works. Anyhow, he's in some hot water because he may or may not (or flat-out did) have some ethical lapses. He finally got the support of the White House via Turd Blossom, but his blaming of his woes upon some sort of Democratic conspiracy is confusing, in that the House Ethics Committee that admonished him THREE TIMES last year was half-made up of Republicans. Fortunately for DeLay, those pesky Republicans have been removed from the committee, so that won't be a problem anymore. However, even Bush-backing newspapers are calling for his head, so DeLay may soon be on DeWay.