World's Worst Excuses, September 2005

Rafael Palmeiro, the Baltimore Oriole who tested positive for steroids (after telling Congress in June 2005 that “I have never used steroids. Period.” ).
Palmeiro had stated that “My day will come when I can say what happened" but then when that day came, he blamed it on a pill (he says he thought was a B-12 vitamin) from teammate Miguel Tejada. I guess I would try to use something better than the equivalent of "I was holding it for a friend" or "I just take whatever Miguel gives me" if I had built up the excuse beforehand.

Edward Dailey, NY firefighter.
Mr. Dailey was arraigned on September 19 in relation to charges of criminal assault of a Bangladeshi newsstand employee. According to witnesses, an visibly inebriated Dailey said "You look like you're Al Qaeda" before throwing a Plexiglass window at the employee. If true (I am a lawyer, you know), Mr. Dailey will have shown that that not only the President can use 9/11 as an feeble excuse for unrelated malfeasance. The proof? Mr. Dailey became a firefighter in 2004 -- he wasn't with the FDNY in September 2001.