Foreign Policy Under the Bush Administration, as Translated by CNB

Policy: It is important that our leaders find common ground.
Translation: We got rid of Powell -- anyone else have a smart mouth??

Policy: You must unequivocally inform potential foes of the consequences of their actions.
Translation: We have to keep up the vague tough-guy threats with Iran, because that's all we can do right now anyway -- the troops are spread too thin for us to do anything else, and Europe is still pissed at us.

Policy: Free elections are crucial to liberty worldwide, and America will support them wherever they occur.
Translation: Fortunately, Americans understand the "American Idol" voting process more than they do the Iraqi elections (we hardly even know what a "transitional national assembly" is). Hell, they think we had something to do with the elections in the Ukraine -- we should keep using that reference every time we mention Iraq. We just need to keep things muddled before anyone realizes that the Shi'ites won (but we did only congratulate "those who will take office once the results are certified" -- heh, heh), or that we will never impose "free elections" upon Pakistan or Saudi Arabia (as long as they play ball).

Policy: Strategic negotiations can be as effective as military force.
Translation: Stupid North Korea -- they KNOW we can't go in there! They called our bluff! Maybe no one will notice that they actually DO have missiles capable of reaching American soil, and then wonder why we saw Iraq as a "grave and gathering" threat, but not North Korea.

Policy: The 2004 Presidential election was a validation of U.S. foreign policy.
Translation: Who cares what anyone thinks? We won the election and can do what we want -- it was our moment of accountability, remember? If we're wrong, we just blame them for electing us!!