Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Paula Abdul's Lack of a Drug or Alcohol Problem

Anyone who watches American Idol (and anyone who denies it is a big fat liar -- look at those ratings!) has likely noticed that Paula Abdul has been exhibiting some strange behavior, both on and off the show, this season, which, for Ms. Abdul, is saying something. Beyond offering her ubiquitous and meaningless blather concerning a singer's "spirit," Ms. Abdul has added slurred speech, glassy eyes, and other behavior that makes her look like the drunk aunt at your cousin's wedding who tries to make a toast, but instead offers a confessional of how she is trapped in a loveless marriage and still wishes she could sleep with her high-school boyfriend.

Ms. Abdul has now acknowledged this phenomena, but rather than announce an upcoming trip to a treatment facility, she claims that she suffers from RSD, a neurological disease. The problem with this (almost certainly) hastily-created excuse is that this "sure-looks-like-she's-on-something-to-me" behavior was not present on any prior season (unlike her useless comments, which have always been present), but she claims her RSD has been present for years. However, it is possible that her medication is causing the problem, and I'll even give her the benefit of the doubt on this. Despite the fact that the drug manufacturer denies such a side effect (and we all know they are always open and forthcoming), this potential side effect would not be unheard of.

In any event, CNB wishes Ms. Abdul well. Having said that, CNB fully expects her to enter a treatment facility within the next 6 months.