Friday, October 15, 2004

Working on the Cheney-Gang

VP and Lynne Cheney are mad at Kerry because he mentioned their daughter's name in the debate on Wednesday (Mrs. VP called it a "cheap and tawdry political trick"). CNB agreed that Kerry could have avoided mentioning her without affecting the intended effect of his remarks.

  1. Where was Lynne Cheney's self-described indignance, not to mention Dick Cheney's self-described anger, when Alan Keyes (CNB will post later on this guy) stated that Mary Cheney, because she is a lesbian, is by definition a "selfish hedonist"? That certainly seems to warrant anger and indignance more than the mere mention of your child's name, even if it is a fellow Republican.
  2. Kerry didn't out Mary Cheney, which you would think based upon the reaction.
  3. Was it "cheap and tawdry" for Bush to mention Missy Johnson, whose husband died in Iraq, in the first debate?
  4. CNB notes is that every Cheney (even other daughter Liz) has seen fit to comment on this. . . except for Mary. She's gay, not mentally disabled, so one would think she could make her own comment were she so offended.

Sure seems like focusing on this is a great way to have people forget about actual political issues, or the fact that certain people keep making unequivocal statements that are proven wrong. "Cheap and tawdry political trick", indeed.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Debates = Over

Here's the last debate commentary, you lucky (and solitary) CNB readers. For a good deconstruction of the inaccuracies last night, here's Factcheck.

Kerry won the first debate, and anyone telling you different is lying, didn't see it, or is a Bushie who cannot admit defeat. The second debate was a draw, as Bush showed up (albeit a bit pissy) and Kerry let too much go by. With regard to the third debate, Kerry was pretty strong again, Bush made his strongest showing of all three debates, but Kerry kept up his composure and momentum that he began in the first debate. He actually looked comfortable up there at the end.

CNB notes that Joe Scarborough of MSNBC said last night that anyone who says either Bush or Kerry won the third debate is "either an ideologue or a liar or they were watching the Red Sox-Yankees game." CNB's crack investigative staff also noted that Mr. Scarborough was also of the opinion folowing the first debate that for "the first 30 minutes of this debate, it was George W. Bush's best performance ever." While the wheels certainly fell off ["I know Osama bin Laden attacked us. I know that."] after that, the first 30 were not exactly awe-inspiring. Thus, CNB sticks by its conclusion that Kerry won the third debate, finishing with a record of 2-0-1.

Now for cumalative debate observations (with best efforts made not to repeat the initial commentaries made).

  • Those Swift Boat veterans had you down a couple months ago, along with the RNC and a host of ads, but you now run about even in the polls, pretty much all due to your debate performances. Don't get cocky.
  • You successfully gave explanations for your most famous flipfloppy remark (voted for it before voting against it), and actually appear to have severely curtailed the flipflops. Don't get cocky.
  • You showed you had a personality, especially last night with the self-effacing comment about marrying up. The smile looked genuine, and it showed confidence to poke fun at yourself, you shameless gold-digger.
  • You never hit the knockout punch, even being given some good material with which to do so.
  • Leave Mary Cheney alone. Edwards could make reference to her, as he was debating her dad (and even that was odd), but you should leave her out of this.
  • Stop attacking every damned thing Bush has ever done. If someone asked you if Bush tied his shoes correctly, you would claim that not only did he not do so, but that you had a plan for future Presidential shoe-tying (but likely never specify what that plan was). You did this a bit last night in giving Bush credit for his immediate post-9/11 actions, but you need to focus your criticisms if you want people to buy into them.
  • You are not Dukakis, so stop worrying about that. However, you are also not Clinton, so don't get cocky.


  • You really screwed the pooch on that first debate. Asking for more time to answer and then staring ahead blankly -- you are lucky the transcript does not include "long uncomfortable pause" before the response you finally gave.
  • That being said, after the pit bull of the second debate, you calmed down pretty well last night. Content was a bit shaky (that repeated video of you saying you were not concerned about Osama bin Laden has to be painful), but you did not scowl, and even made a joke out of it.
  • Admit a mistake. Just one. I swear to you, if you admit a mistake, miscalculation, minor error in judgment -- SOMETHING -- you will get reelected. What was "resolute" has now officially turned into "stubborn". You're like the guy in the interview who answers the "what is your biggest weakness" question by saying "sometimes I push myself too hard".
  • Despite your obscene wealth, some people find you folksy. However, they are still losing their jobs, and will find you less folksy if your solution to their problem of feeding their children is for them to attend community college. That jackass in the stupid suit from late-night TV commercials can find them money for college - your job is to do what you can to help get folks reemployed faster.
  • Kerry really has made some contradictory statements, but so have you (again, you are finding that out today). Thus, keep it focused to main stuff, or you will open yourself up to the same criticism.
  • You are not in total polling free-fall, but you are an incumbent president with a less-than-50% approval rating. That ain't good, and it ain't gonna get better if you keep on with the same stuff.
  • What's Rove's big surprise?? Come on, you can tell the CNB. Nobody reads it anyhow, so what's the harm?? Come on. . . . .

Any comments from the CNB faithful?

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Immediate debate review for Debate 3

Wow. So much material. Here are some highlights.

  • You'll get the flu vaccine from Canada, but old people cannot get their heart medication from Canada. I hate to use the flip-flopper label, but. . . .
  • "Gosh, I just don't think I ever said I'm not worried about Osama bin Laden. It's kind of one of those exaggerations. Of course we're worried about Osama bin Laden. We're on the hunt after Osama bin Laden. We're using every asset at our disposal to get Osama bin Laden." Uh. . .check the White House web site, where you said that "And, again, I don't know where he is. I -- I'll repeat what I said. I truly am not that concerned about him."
  • So the pause returned, with those ums and ahs? Is it the podium?
  • You really should not criticize or mock the moderator's employer, even if it is deserving. You made reference to not relying upon the credibility of a major news organization, clearly referring to the Dan Rather thing.
  • You don't get to ask yourself questions, even if you think you know where the moderator is going.
  • You used applied knowledge in remembering something from the second debate, and lots of statistic-spouting. That is a first as far as I've seen.
  • You did not smirk (much) but blinked like a crackhead. Trying hard not to smirk?
  • You seemed to yell at the disembodied worker about how he had more money in his pocket, and how you'd help him go to community college. Problem is, you'd already kinda yelled at him. Who wants to sign up for Geography 101 now?
  • I know Bush shouldn't dodge questions, but you shouldn't either. On a couple of those, I had no idea what the question was when you were done.
  • You are reading the CNB (now found at, by the way) - you called him on not answering questions, you watched the big words -- much better.
  • No offense to Massachusetts, but it is "idea", not "idear."
  • You cannot just say that the President's plan is not working, but yours would. I thought you were reading the CNB, but I guess I was wrong. Be a little specific.
  • You are biting on waaaay too much stuff, but are a little better.
  • I still have no idea how you intend to pay for the healthcare plan - you pulled a Bush-dodge on that one.
  • I get it. You love God. France has no veto over US Security. Uncle.

Conclusion: Pending factchecking, it seems clear that Kerry got the better of Bush. That being said, Bush was not the guy from the first debate at all. However, he seemed far too sure of things that it took all of 3 minutes to show as incorrect (not just vague, but wrong), and CNB is a sucky blog. Think what those real blogger geeks can do, much less the major news organizations that Bush mocked.

You never see Cheney and the Penguin in the same place. . .

Here it is - the first CNB graphic. We here at the CNB noted that VP Cheney bore a striking resemblance to the Penguin, but felt that we could not do a comparative study correctly without some sort of help. Thus, we created the first CNB graphic.

You can click on the graphic to see a larger flash version of this comparative study. To send to your friends (or enemies), click the envelope below.

CNB Polls - More Useless Crap

CNB's crack investigative staff has taken time out of its busy schedule to serve in a dual capacity - as the Official CNB Pollsters. You may have noticed the first of their efforts yesterday, a less-than-creative presidential poll. Gee, I've never seen one of those!

In any event, from time to time, the CNB Pollsters will have an interactive poll available for CNB readers, which is one of the many advantages to CNB readership -- however, like Bush and mistakes, the CNB cannot name another advantage.

Today's poll deals with whether Bush will come out all pissy in tonight's debate. Weigh in - make your voice be heard!

Bill Frist of Fury

In response to comments made by Democratic VP candidate Sen. John Edwards (D-NC) on stem-cell research, Sen. Bill Frist (R-TN) said, "I find it opportunistic to use the death of someone like Christopher Reeve -- I think it is shameful -- in order to mislead the American people."

Is it just me, or does it appear that by exchanging "the death of someone like Christopher Reeve" for "9-11", you could apply this quote equally, if not more so, to the Bush/Cheney campaign?

Just a thought. . .

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

CNB Religious Update - 10/12/04

CNB's crack investigative staff provides this helpful summary of what's what in the world of religion. Today's focus: Christianity in America.

  • Archbishop Charles Chaput of Denver said that a vote for a candidate like John Kerry, because of his views on abortion rights and embryonic stem cell research, would require a trip to confession. Many Catholics disagree with this viewpoint, arguing that voting solely on abortion slights Catholic teaching on a range of other issues, including war, poverty, the death penalty, the environment, and immigration (not to mention the Church's spotty record on child protection).

  • The U.S. Supreme Court said today that it will take up the constitutionality of Ten Commandments displays on government land and buildings, with the review of cases specifically involving displays in Kentucky and Texas. A 1980 Supreme Court decision banned the posting of copies of the Ten Commandments in public school classrooms. However, in the meantime, lower federal courts have reached differing opinions that allowed public displays in some instances but not in others. Folks on both sides of this issue are sure to get vocal about this (pro -- con). An interesting take on this divisive issue can be found here, where it is noted that Jesus chose the top six commandments (found at Matthew 19:17-19, with parallel telling at Mark 10:17-23, and also at Luke 18:18-23) upon which to focus if a person wanted to "inherit eternal life".

Monday, October 11, 2004

Tips for John Kerry

CNB gave some helpful hints to the President some time back, and felt it only fair to offer the same help to his opponent.

  1. Dumb it down. No big words. This time, CNB means it.
  2. Keep it short. We all appreciate the fact that you understand all sides of an issue (and feel it necessary to tell us all about it) but the more you talk, the more stupid out-of-context crap the Bush camp can put out about you. If you were to say that "Some people say Stalin was a great man, but I think they are wrong" you can be sure that the swing states would get ads the next day telling how Kerry thinks "Stalin was a great man" - technically an accurate quote, but completely out of context. Solution: shut your piehole once you make your point.
  3. Distinguish yourself from Bush. I know you think you are doing this, but you are not. If people think you are not going to be that different, then they will just vote for Bush. The thinking will be "Hell, he already has the job." (While CNB's crack investigative staff cannot confirm this, this actually appears to be the official Bush motto this year.) You have begun down this road a bit, but (in conjunction with brevity and deintellectulization - if that is a word) keep it simple. A few concrete examples will be enough.
  4. Stop taking the bait. If Bush dodges a question, use your first 15 seconds to note that he did not answer the question (remember the "name 3 things you did wrong"??) and then answer the question BRIEFLY. Stop responding to whatever off-subject thing Bush puts out there, and stick to the question asked. As stated before, Bush does not respond well to challenges, and will be taken aback.
  5. On that same note, the President references 9-11 to dodge another question, call him on it. There are many people who find it absolutely shocking that anyone would have the temerity to try to use a national tragedy for political gain (or excuse for unrelated issues).

To help out, use that debate pad to write down these simple tips, and stick to them. If not, Dukakis be thy name.